Only One of Us Can Stay
by ThatOneGoodWriter
Summary: When all options fail, a support group is her last hope. Clace. Angst.
1. Chapter 1

" _I'd trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday."_

Kris Kristofferson

 **Prologue**

I'm so sad. Infinitely sad. Eternally sad.

I honestly don't know what to say. The thoughts in my head keep swirling instead of plastering on this stupid piece of paper.

I'm thinking about it but I don't want to. I'm thinking about it but I feel like my body wants it. I should stop. I just can't. For some reason I can't.

My fingers are trembling.

Trembling fiercely. My face is dry but my eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to spill. Should I let them fall? Was I strong?

No, I wasn't. I wouldn't ever be strong. I was weak. Weak physically and emotionally. Drained.

My therapist keeps saying something but I can't really hear her. I'm just listening to constant waves in my ears. How do I make it all stop? I place my hands atop my ears and squeeze tightly, clear liquid finally dropping to my cheeks.

"Make it stop!" I remembered screaming. I shouted it over and over until a few people were standing next me, tugging at my arms and making sure I didn't move. I didn't struggle.

The flashbacks. They would always return. I knew. But for now, things were a little clearer.

My mom is sobbing, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. She keeps telling someone that she doesn't want to lose me. What did she mean? I was right here. Couldn't she see me? I stared vaguely at her.

A support group. I gazed at my scarred hands but I didn't dare peer further at the bruises on my wrists. I wanted to stay home. Home was in my head. I didn't want to see other crazy people. I already knew I was a lunatic. Why did I need proof?

My mother urges me to go and I just nod but I'm not really paying attention to her. I see things. I'm seeing things right now. Me. Me and someone else. He's my best friend, I think. Back when I used to be normal. He wears glasses. He looks pretty funny. He's leaving now. Why is he leaving?

I'm a bad influence maybe. I'm crazy, right? Bonkers.

My eyelids are starting to droop. I need sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

" _If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others."_

Philip K. Dick

The support group turns out to be in an abandoned building. Pretty decent. A bit creepy if I had a say. Mom dropped me off and gave me a wet kiss on the cheek which I immediately swiped away. She laughed a little but it was the kind of laugh where you wanted to cry after. I nodded a bit, pulled my sleeves down my wrists for probably the sixteenth time and tucked my hair behind my ears. I had cut it short a while ago but I couldn't let go of the thought that some skin showed.

I hopped out of my seat and walked slowly towards the door. I counted the cracks on the sidewalk as I went. One. Six. Twelve. Thirty eight. The city really needed to clear up this damage. I imagine the cracks opening and swallowing me whole so I dart inside quickly, my heart beating rapidly. There they are. Right in front of me. The maniacs. Like me. I want to turn around and leave but where would I go?

They're sitting on ratty plastic chairs that look like they're about to break. How much did this even cost? They look pretty normal to me. Except the guy with the curly hair. He keeps stomping his feet on the ground. There's maybe about ten people there. Four girls. Six guys. A few look older. Some look like early teens. I try to keep my eyes down but there isn't a chair for me to sit on. "Here."

It's a guy's voice. I grab the stupid plastic piece of crap thing without looking at him and go into the far corner to sit. I pull my sleeves down. Again. I don't glance up until I hear an old man's tone. He's short and Indian looking. Not in a bad way though. He looks sort of happy. Like he didn't expect the crazies to come. "Welcome!" A girl with braids flinches. She's wearing an extra tight skirt and a shirt that kinda looks like a bra. She sees me looking and blows a kiss. I turn away.

"Come on, old man. I got stuff to do." He was an overweight guy. He was also eating a rather large chocolate bar. The brown stuff still hung in his teeth. Someone else snickered.

The guy in charge smiled. He didn't look affected by the comment. He cocks his head to the side. "Well that stuff is still hanging in your mouth, young man." A girl hooted. She wore purple pajamas. Purple Chuck Taylors. A purple ribbon in her hair. Chubby with purple glasses too.

I looked at my own clothing. A green sweater without a wrinkle and blue jeans. Not faded. Faded wasn't neat.

"Okay, ladies and gents. I want you guys to share why you're here. That's the first step to opening up. No details are necessary." He clapped his hands and pointed to the girl who had blown me a kiss.

She frowned. Licked her lips. "I had sex with my teacher." She didn't look at any of us.

Indian guy smiled. "That's what I'm talking about." Everyone was silent. I didn't think they had expected that. Then again, we were all pretty sick. My stomach felt like dropping or maybe melting. I didn't want to say anything.

Fat guy went next. He held an empty wrapper in his fingers and twirled it around. "I killed my dad for hitting my mom."

I swallowed. This wasn't what I had expected. Purple pajamas shrugged her shoulders carelessly and adjusted her glasses. "Attempted suicide."

Another guy went. He had messy blonde hair and big brown eyes. Bad posture and nervous energy. "Bipolar."

A short guy was flicking his lighter on and off. He had spiky black hair managed by lots of gel. "Drug abuse."

This time a petite girl with brown hair tied in multiple places. She looks ordinary but she keeps fidgeting every so often. "Anxiety." Her voice was so quiet I had to strain my ears to hear it.

The last girl. She has boyish snow colored hair. A leather jacket. Black finger nails. Red lips. "Depression."

"This is stupid but whatever. Anything to go home." He had a grinning face and freckles but not as visible as mine. Blue eyes. Thin lips. Cuts on his face. A scar beneath his chin. "Sex addiction." Fat guy laughed and gave him a pump of his fist.

The teacher nodded approvingly. "Jace." He quietly nodded off to the guy who was biting his bottom lip. He had tawny hair and golden eyes. A black sweater. Faded jeans. He sighed a little. Oh god. I was next. I needed to leave. "Nightmares. Insomnia. Depression. Lots of more cool stuff." He had a smile on but his words were bitter.

One. Two. Three. I didn't say anything. They all stared. My chest was pumping faster. What could I do? I couldn't just run out. Right? Maybe if I call mom she'll come. My fingers tremble. Someone coughs.

"Just leave her alone. She doesn't have to say it if she doesn't want to." It was that guy. Jace. I looked up, just for half a second, and he was staring at me. Then his mouth curled upwards as if he was telling me he could handle this.

Indian guy claps his hands again. "We'll be having meetings every Tuesday and Thursday from now on. This was just an intro. Put out that lighter, Jacob. I'm happy that you guys shared basic statements about your life. It shows you're not afraid of what anybody can say and that's awesome. Have a good afternoon. Be here Thursday. Oh, and Tony? Next time, use a napkin when eating chocolate. The chairs are already shit. We don't need anything else on them." A few people laughed and they all walked off somewhere. The teacher grabbed his keys and file book thing, then left.

I stayed. I sat on the chair and stared at the tiles on the ground. Counted them. Twenty four. Fifty two. "Hey." Jace.

I didn't answer. Kept counting. Eighty six. "Are you alright?"

One hundred. He yanked a strand of my hair, moving it out of place. I snatched the curl away from him, finally meeting his face. He smiled like that was his plan. "Can you say anything? Are you mute?" He squinted his eyes. They looked molten when close.

"I hate faded jeans." There was a few moments of quiet after that. Then he laughed and looked down at himself.

"Okay. That's something."

I tugged my sleeves again. He watched me. "Are you waiting for a ride?"

I nodded.

"Okay." He repeated and sat down on the ground a little too close. I scooted my chair away.

"You're schizo, right?"

My breath escaped. I didn't notice my leg was shaking. "It's alright. My mom was like that."

"I think-I think I've got to go." I struggled to stand up and forced my way to the door.

"Wait!"

I walked faster.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally, some consistency!**

 _Hi, readers! I'm super sorry that this isn't an update. I really apologize if you hoped it was. Anyway, everyone has been asking me to update a bunch of stories as quick as possible. Others have complained that something is seriously wrong with me because of my long periods without update. I finally came up with a schedule. I'll try to be as stern as possible with the dates provided, but I'm entering SENIOR YEAR and kind of need to get my shit together._

 _I've got a bunch of AP work and a lot of decisions I need to make before college life. I hope, dearly, that you understand. ALL, and I mean ALL, stories will be updated. I don't care how old they are and how many reviews I receive._

 _One last thing, before your brains get tired of this. If you haven't noticed, the Mortal Instruments community is lowering in the amount of new writers and new stories being created. I constantly read new stories where there are literally no reviews. The author, despite this, continues to update. I saw a story the other day that possessed about five chapters. There were no reviews. I don't want to be a bitch and I have no right to demand something of you, but if you want to continue to read fanfictions about your favorite characters, why aren't you contributing?_

 _Why is it that authors have to work hard to write things for you? To satisfy you? A few years back, the TMI community was flourishing. Now, the latest updates are hours ago. And I mean, like, 10 hours ago. So I'm done ranting over shit I know people obviously don't care about._

 _If you got anything out of this, it's that you should review. You don't always have to give a compliment. You can give constructive criticism. You can suggest ideas and styles. You are basically helping authors grow!_

 _Without further ado, here's my schedule. It'll be on my bio, but I don't think anyone has the time to visit that page._

 **Are You Gonna Stay?** (A fanfic based off of Vance Joy's [Riptide]. Clace. Four-shot.)

*Every Tuesday*

[complete by the 4th of September]

 **Bandaids** (Clarissa Fairchild, a young woman who desperately needs money to help support her grandma, decides to become a housekeeper for the Herondale Manor. Trying to achieve her dreams by following a beaten path, Clarissa realizes that this particular job may affect her personal life more than she would like. Clace.)

 **You Look Like Hell** (A Clace fanfic based on Melanie Martinez's [Soap].)

 **Did You Forget About Me?** (As a child, Jace loses his mother and father on the same night. With no one left to depend on, he is forced into an orphanage, one that seems unwelcoming. There he meets a certain annoying girl. She kept talking to him but he liked listening. They become friends, well sort of, more or less. But the problem he didn't know he'd have to face in the orphanage was: Separation.)

 **Let's Just Lie Under a Thousand Stars** (When Clarissa Fray, a smart but spirited student who never seemed to lose passion for anything, meets Jace Herondale, a youthful man who seems too cold for anyone to ever love, she finally discovers why you don't touch broken or shattered glass. You wound yourself along the way. "You can't just apologize for every little thing and expect me to come back everyday. You just can't.")

*Every other Thursday*

 **Erasing the Ghost Inside (** Jace's younger brother, William, is getting married and he needs support with planning. Traveling across the globe, Jace does not expect to grow fond of his brother's future wife, Clarissa. Clace. Angst.)

 **My Lovely Sin** (He is a nobleman, cruel and stern. Wealthy and strong. When he purchases a certain servant, he does not expect to fall in love with an individual he believes is a mistake to the world. Clace.)

 **Because I'm Curious Why** (A break up. Its effects. Clace. Snippet: [That's all. I'm leaving. It's over. Whatever we had, it's clearly gone now. You must have noticed, babe. We weren't gonna last. No one will. I won't end it with an I love you because I truly don't and it would be lying. Stay strong. Jace Herondale x])

*First of Every Month*

 **This Light is Fading** (Kagome Higurashi is determined to join the Survey Corps. There she meets Erwin Smith who abruptly appoints her to Levi Ackerman's team. As she journeys with her Captain and her companions, she is constantly reminded of a miko in an era she does not remember. Trying to recollect the memories she receives, Kagome must find a way to understand who she once was and who she will be.)

 _Sorry AoT fans, I'll be sure to continue updating. I'm coming back! Don't lose hope!_

*Every Friday*

 **In Wine There is Truth** (Set in the late Middle Ages, two sisters venture into the path of royalty. Clarissa, a fierce fighter finds herself watching her sister, her closest confidant, take the throne. Placed in the highest positions of the Alicante Kingdom, the two women discover themselves falling in love with the same man, the King. History/Angst/Action. Clace.)

 **Shooting Star** ("Why won't you fucking wake up when I need you? You're always asleep." In a fit of rage and defeat, he placed his head into the crook of her neck and cried until his heart hardened again. Clace.)

*Every Other First of the Month*

 **Forgive Me For I Have Sinned** (Clarissa Adele, a soon to be queen, must take the throne of a kingdom who hates her very soul. There she meets a young man, a courageous one, who tries desperately to save his family. On the way, he must unravel the queen's past and perhaps begin something worth fighting for. Clace.)

*Every other Saturday*

 **Onward, We Go** (Clace. An office story.)

 **I Drank Until I Saw You Next to Me** (Clarissa Morgenstern, a runaway, wakes up in a white van with four strangers, one of whom is a golden eyed drug addict. Clarissa forms a connection with him as an adventure is in the making. Clace.)

 **False Image** (A bad girl. A bad boy. A bullying incident gone wrong. [Clace] [Angst])

*Infrequent Updates*

 **She Needed the Saving** (Jace ached to get closer to the baffling girl but she always disappeared when he would find the courage to step forward. She always surprised him with stupid and sometimes weird habits. She left him dumbfounded but fascinated. "Maybe she runs away so fast for the fun of having me catch up.")

 **I May Not Believe in Him, But I Believe in Her** (Jace is supposedly forced to attend church even though he isn't much of a believer. There, he meets the daughter of the Pastor. She's a reckless liar and a careless thrill-seeker, but he likes her nonetheless. "Are you coming with me or not?" She asked him, irritated with his inability to make a decision. He took her hand. "Let's get the fuck outta here." Clace.)

*The 15th of Every Month*

 **I Can Only Remember His Lips** (He loses his memory. She tries to make him remember. Clace.)

 _Does anyone even want this updated. If so, send a PM or a review._

 **We Just Clicked** (Clarissa Morgenstern lives a life that revolves around darting corner to corner as Mr. Herondale's manager. Signing papers, meeting with companies, and even taking the job of comforting her companion. Though this was quite grueling, she'd do a lot for her fair eyed workmate. On hiatus.)

 **Ma'am!** (A barely managing man and a proudly engaged woman. Clace.)

*Every Other Sunday*

 **The Getaway to Nowhere** (When Jace Herondale's soon-to-be-wife, Clarissa Fairchild, leaves him a month before their wedding, he is left with the two week cruise they had planned for their honeymoon. Taking a major risk, Jace decides to search for a woman by his fiance's name so that she may bring reassurance to him and attend the cruise with him. A ridiculous idea. A hell of a lot of consequences. Clace.)

 **Sincerely, Yours** (5 teenagers spend a Saturday morning in detention. Based off of the 1985 film: The Breakfast Club. Clace. Sizzy. Jaia.)

 **Let's Be Nothing** (Clary works an on and off again job. She talks to on and off again friends. She even loves an on and off again boy named Jace. Clace. Angst.)

*Infrequent, most likely on a Friday*

 **I'm Used To It** (A blind girl manages to make a neglected boy see. Angst. Clace.)

*Every Monday*

 **Only One of Us Can Stay** (When all options fail, a support group is her last hope. Clace. Angst.)

 **You Are the Medication That Keeps Me Alive** (Tessa Gray, one of the only warlocks to survive after the Great War, is captured by King Edmund who seeks her power for his own good. Caged in a prison and tortured all the while, Tessa is faced with the King's son, William, who seeks to free her despite his hard demeanor. Wessa.)

*Infrequent Updates*

 **Don't Get Too Close** (She's gone through a lot. He has too. But in the end, they're just too catastrophic and destructive to love one another. Clace. Angst.)

 **THE-TRUTH-IS** (It was simple. He wrote his feelings on one page. She wrote her feelings on the other. The only rule was that they were no allowed to see each other's entries. The rule was a promise they would both keep. That is...until the day she decides to leave and he is abandoned with only a tattered book he is tempted to finally read. Clace. Angst.)

*Last Weekend of Every Month*

 **There's No Beginning Here** (She can try to hide, but one of these days, someone'll find her. Clace.)

 **Go Out and Start Again** ("Clare! He's 21. He doesn't need protecting anymore! What are you trying to protect him from?" Simon shouted. She swallowed and answered quietly. "The entire world." Clace. Angst.)

 **Writing Extravaganza** (One-shots written of your choosing. Drop a review or PM me for requests and I will write them here. [Clace] [Malec] [Sizzy] [Jaia])

*Based on Amount of Reader Requests*

 **Melody** (A chance meeting leads a stubborn woman and a musician down the path of love. Clace. A Titanic story.)

 **Walking Around Aimlessly** (The date is September 1952. Clarissa Fairchild is a papergirl, sending and delivering newspapers to her fellow neighbors. On one trip she discovers Jonathon Herondale and something inside her unravels. Clace. Tragedy/Romance)

 **My Thorns Are Still Sharp** (Clarissa Morgenstern is the goddess of jinx, exiled by all the gods and punished to live in the mundane world. There lives Jace Herondale, an ordinary human with the ability to see her. Trying to stay under the radar of the gods, Clarissa finds herself in the center of an issue that threatens all of Olympus and must drag the boy with her in search of a solution. Clace.)

*Every Other Wednesday*

 **Far Far Away** (Jace, a fallen soldier, leaves Clarissa, his fiance, a series of videos to watch.)

 **I Miss You More At Night** (A struggling but well known actor must film a movie despite the issues in his life. But just as he thinks another movie could higher his status, the actress he must film with seems to have other ideas. And maybe, just maybe, something is found along the way. Clace.)

*Every Sunday*

 **City Lights** (Who knew a text message at 4:00 AM in the morning could reunite ex-lovers from four years back? Clace.)

 **Save Our Souls** (Two teens chat through the website: [StrangersForHelp]. In this site, people across the globe try to communicate in order to solve their issues, creating a digital friendship. Clarissa Morgenstern and Jace Herondale find themselves chatting with one another with hidden names until they build their own world. Soon, they decide to meet. Digital universe and reality clash. Clace.)

 **You Call the Shots, Babe** (Jace would come and we kind of all knew the reason why. We knew he wanted to see us. But mostly, above all else, we knew he came for Clarissa Fairchild. [Clace] [Angst])

*As soon as I can, whenever I can*

 _The schedule is subject to change. If and when it does,_

 _I will give you a notice and explanation._

 **All one-shots/two-shots/three-shots are infrequent. They will definitely be finished.**

PM me for any questions and concerns!

 **SNEAK-PEAK OVER FUTURE FICS**

 **We, Dumbledore's Army:** After the success of the second wizarding war, no one expected the sudden disappearances of prominent wizards and witches. Desperately using Hogwarts as a haven for protection, the wizarding world is slowly decreasing as the remains of the Dark Lord's minions grow. A solution is proposed. Two individuals lead the charge, chosen by the existing professors. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. Dumbledore's army is revived. Dramione. [Harry Potter]

 **Scattered Amongst the Stars:** She's the head of the vampire clan. He's the Alpha of the werewolves. Clace. [The Mortal Instruments]

 **The Last Prayer:** He finds her on the ground, surrounded by hungry titans. From there, she's his and his alone. Levi/Kagome. [Attack on Titan]

 **Crows:** He's the leader of the Alicante thieves. She's a poor villager who steals for her next meal.

Clace. [The Mortal Instruments]

 **One Summer:** They can only see each other at camp. They take what they can get. Clace. [The Mortal Instruments]

 **These Tiny Glimpses:** Levi's getting dreams of her. Tired and exasperated, he searches for the woman that is taking over his mind. Levi/Kagome. [Attack on Titan]

 **Relapse:** She's suffering and he's got to do anything to take the burden away from her. Hinny. AU. [Harry Potter]

...

More later!

 _Thanks for reading. Any suggestions or comments are absolutely welcome. Sorry again, if you thought this was an update._

 **A question most readers ask me:** Why are all your stories sad?

 **Answer:** They're not necessarily sad, they're just true. I try to make all my stories as raw and honest as possible. I will not sugarcoat things. I will not have happy endings where there shouldn't be. My biggest inspiration comes from a fanfic writer named KissingFire. She basically wrote the truth in her TMI fics and whatnot. So yeah. Cheers!

 _Bye!_


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